Bible Pickin’s – Genesis pt1

I tried. I really tried. I couldn’t finish reading the whole book of Genesis. To say that Genesis is a repetitive and boring text would be an understatement. There’s too much begatting; too many husband’s calling their wives ‘my sister;’ and too many camels that need to be watered. If anyone tells you that the book of Genesis is a good read that can mean only one thing: they haven’t read the book. I can’t find anything that is even remotely pertinent to life in the 21st Century. And morals? Forget about it.

There were a number of entries that caught my attention and I will share my thoughts on these textual speed bumps so that you won’t have to actually read this turgid fairy tale.

{2:15} And the LORD God took the man, and put him in the Garden of Eden to dress it and keep it. {2:16} And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: {2:17} But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shall certainly die.

Why would God want Adam to not know the difference between good and evil? Doesn’t morality rest on the ability to distinguish the difference between good and bad acts? I guess in the long run it doesn’t matter because if Adam were to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil God promised kill him.

That’s nice.

I am convinced that whoever wrote these sentences is a woman hater:

{2:21} And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and He took one of his robs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; {2:22} And the rib. which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. {2:23} And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

This writer probably could not bear the idea that man was born from woman, so he robbed her thunder by saying that woman was born of man. He took a rib: poof, he made a woman. Maybe this was the writer’s way of ensuring that all women knew their place in the world by telling them where they came from. The only thing more farfetched  than the creation of woman is the creation of man: {2:7} And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

{3:1} to {3:24}. In a nutshell: a serpent told Eve in the Garden of Eden that eating the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil will open her eyes and “ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.” Eve plucked the (never named) fruit from the tree; she and Adam ate it. They suddenly became bashful, they can see their own nudity. They don’t want God to see their nakedness. God gets suspicious. Adam and  Eve admit that they ate the fruit. God got upset. “And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou [art] cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life.” Notice that there is NO mention of Satan in this quote or anywhere else in this section. Sometimes a snake is just a snake.

Because Eve broke the big rule she, and all women, will bring forth children in sorrow and obey men.

For Adam, and all men, the ground is cursed. He has to eat bread and the herb of the field until he dies and returns to dust.

God made coats out of skin and clothed Adam and Eve.

{3:22} And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever: {3:23} Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the Garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. {3:24} So He drove out the man: and He placed at the east of the Garden of Eden Cherubim,  and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way to the tree of life.

You know what? The serpent was right. God didn’t kill them like He said He would…


About izziferreel

Freethinker. Drummer, Singer, Songwriter: The Third Eye, Blackbird13, The Avantguardians. Actor: Raving Maniacs, Feeding the Masses. Also produced, wrote and acted in my short film Lonelyman51. Writer: lyrics, radio drama, horror tales and social criticism.
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